FATE or CHOICES? You Must Decide…John Page Burton

FATE is a word that many of us use to describe events that we believe are out of our control. Many of us describe FATE with words like destiny or divine purpose. For example, some believe that FATE is why Will Smith is one of the highest paid actors in the world and why Will Smith is also currently serving a 10 year sentence in a state correctional facility. Has Will Smith’s life been shaped by FATE or by his CHOICES? I recently spent time with a person who is having significant health challenges. This person is at least 80 lbs over their ideal body weight and they seem to have little interest in diet or exercise. During our conversation they stated that it was simply “their FATE” to experience health problems. I couldn’t help but believe their health challenges were caused more by their CHOICES than by FATE and that they were using the concept of “FATE” as an avoidance strategy. So why does one person named Will Smith end up becoming a box office sensation while another Will Smith ends up serving a 10 year sentence for armed robbery? Was it FATE or was it the bi-product of their CHOICES?

I am a true believer in the “laws of attraction” and I have experienced the awesome power of manifestation on many occasions. In other words, what I have focused on has eventually become my reality. I also believe in the law of motion which says that we must keep moving toward where we desire to be. Our actions must be congruent with our intentions. In order for Will Smith to have become the box office sensation he is today, he first had to practice, master his craft, believe in his talents, move to California, go to countless auditions and finally accept the role of the Fresh Prince on the hit show, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Will Smith made specific choices that delivered him a life of fame and fortune. The other Will Smith made a series of choices that delivered him a much different lifestyle.

Everyday we are presented with choices. Every choice comes with a potential consequence. If I choose to drink and drive there is a distinct possibility that I may cause harm to myself or others. If I smoke a pack of cigarettes every day, there is a reasonable possibility that I will have significant respiratory challenges later in life. If I eat a high fat diet there is a possibility I will develop heart disease. If I engage in an extra marital affair there is a possibility that my marriage may end. There is also a possibility that none of these choices will produce any adverse effects whatsoever, which brings us back to Fate.

FATE or CHOICES? You decide.

As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.

5 Reasons We Visit Our “Unhappy Place”…John Page Burton

My friend Mark always seems to be unhappy with someone or something. His “little dark cloud” follows him wherever he goes. All of us know someone who is chronically unhappy and quite frankly they’re not much fun to be around. Lets take a closer look at five of the more common causes of unhappiness…

1. Expectations. Most of us go to our “unhappy place” when our “expectations” are not being met. When we EXPECT people to act a certain way and they don’t, we are disappointed. One of life’s most profound truths is that people are going to do exactly what they want to do regardless of what we EXPECT them to do. The key to our mental and emotional well being is to turn our expectations into preferences. In short, I prefer that the outcome look a certain way but if it doesn’t materialize, I can live with it. The challenge for most of us is to release our death grip on expectations and turn them into preferences.

2. Comparison. If I look around long enough, I can always identify someone who “appears” to be better off than I am. MY journey has been custom designed to present ME with the precise opportunities and lessons necessary to get ME where I am supposed to be going. When I am focused on the results of someone else, I am effectively selling myself short. Our challenge is to run our race and let others run theirs. FYI…In the world of human interaction, rarely are things as we perceive them to be. Regardless of how well disguised, EVERYONE is presented with their own unique set of challenges and limitations.

3. Limited vision. The grander our vision, the less time we have to visit our “unhappy place”. Once we have established a grander vision for our health, wealth and spiritual growth, we usually find that we no longer have time for feelings of discontent. On the other hand, when our vision is limited, everything effects us and we become prone to judgement and blame. Our challenge is to create a grander vision for our life, one that leads us toward a compelling future. The grander our vision, the more inspired we will become.

4. Fear of rejection and failure. Fear based people are unhappy people. When we run our lives based on a fear of loss rather than on what we stand to gain, we set ourselves up for a great deal of disappointment. Failure and rejection are necessary for our growth. (I recently wrote a book entitled Wisdom Through Failure which takes an in-depth look at the positive role failure plays in our lives) Our challenge is to confront our fear when it comes up. What we perceive as rejection is rarely about something “we did” but rather about the other person’s programs.

5. Lack of true faith. I can personally attest to the fact that talking about unwavering faith and actually practicing it are two different things. It is easy to “have faith” when things are going well but can be quite challenging when we are smack dab in the middle of the tornado. Those who truly have faith find it hard to be “unhappy” because they realize that the adversity they are currently experiencing is part of their creators master plan. Our challenge is to embrace and not question adversity. This is what it means to have true FAITH.

And there you have it. Time to “turn that frown upside down”. As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback!