Stop The Universe, I Want To Hop Off! John Page Burton

Recently, during a conversation centered around life choices and outcomes, my friend Resa shared a very profound truth…”you can’t stop the universe”. In essence she was saying that when we send our thought energy out into the universe a process begins whereby the right people, circumstances, opportunities and challenges line up to compliment our request. This process is often referred to as manifestation. “Stop the universe, I want to hop off” has been my “plea” on the occasions in my life when things seemed to be spinning out of control. In reality we cant “stop the universe”, it is indifferent. The universe simply does it’s best to respond to our “commands” and has no emotional attachment to the outcome. Our challenge is to become more mindful of the words, thoughts, intentions and commands we communicate and use this knowledge to create the life we truly desire.

Below are 4 considerations for communicating with the universe. It is important to remember that we WILL NOT always get what we desire because GOD may have a bigger, more important plan for our lives.

*BE CLEAR. First, we must know what it is we desire. When we are vague or speak in broad generalities we are sending the universe a message that we really have no clue what we want. The universe has no other option than to deliver accordingly. Clarity of desire or purpose is the cornerstone of the manifestation process. Get clear, BE SPECIFIC!

*BE CONSISTENT. Once we have determined what it is we desire, we must be consistent and deliberate in communicating our intentions. Consistent affirmations followed by consistent ACTION reiterates to the universe that we are serious about attaining what we desire.

*BE CONGRUENT. Our ACTIONS must be congruent with our words. Many of us say one thing but our actions reflect an entirely different message. For example, I may say that I desire to attract a spiritually grounded life partner yet I spend the majority of my non working hours at the local sports bar. There is a significant chasm between what I say I desire and the actions I am taking to attract it. We must be mindful of any mixed messages we are sending.

*BE CAREFUL. Once we declare our intentions, the EGO will begin doing everything it can to distract us. The chatter will begin… “Eating less calories is hard, running isn’t good for my shins, being too skinny isn’t healthy”, blah, blah, blah. If we want to receive what we desire we must recognize when the Ego is trying to derail us. I have found that when I desire something badly enough and commit to taking massive action the universe eventually delivers it, albeit not always in the manner I envisioned. Through a great deal of trial and error I have learned to be careful and practice patience.

I would love to hear your stories of manifestation! Until next time, be great!

People Pleasing, A 12 Step Recovery Program…John Page Burton

We all know people who are serial “people pleasers”. The art of people pleasing is not gender specific nor is it limited to race, religion or culture. People pleasing is an addictive, learned behavior that can be very difficult to change. The stereotypical people pleaser is adept at creating an environment of co-dependence in every area of their life. People pleasers are masters of avoidance. The philosophy of a people pleaser holds that as long as I am doing everything possible for someone else then I will never have to be responsible for my  life, my dreams or my desires. People pleasers are also extremely comfortable in justifying their behavior. “My kids could never function without me”, “my spouse would burn everything if he had to cook dinner for himself”, “the committee would be lost if I didn’t guide them every step of the way” or ” it just makes me happy to see them so happy” are some of the many excuses people pleasers routinely use to justify their inflated sense of self importance.  Unfortunately, people pleasers are also teaching their children that it is normal to do everything for everyone else and to do nothing for themselves. Children of people pleasers often grow up to be socially stunted adults. Remember, we teach people how to treat us.

Finally,  although they put on a happy public face, most people pleasers give of themselves begrudgingly and tend to harbor a great deal of resentment toward those they do everything for. If this sounds familiar, it may be time to sign up for the “People Pleaser 12 Step Recovery Program”.

The 12 Steps To Recovery…

1. We admitted that we were people pleasers and that we were sick and tired of obsessively doing everything for everyone else.

2. We came to believe that doing everything for everyone else was robbing us of our dreams and goals.

3. We made a conscious decision to turn over the majority of our dysfunctional workload to those around us who were just as capable of fending for themselves as we were.

4. We then took a fearless, moral inventory of our lives and came to the realization that we were in fact worthy of and open to letting other people meet some of our needs for a change.

5. We admitted to a power far greater than ourselves that we no longer had the desire to be in obsessive control over every single aspect of another persons life.

6. We were then ready, willing and able to let someone else do the laundry, cook meals, shuttle kids, mow the lawn, shop for groceries and search tirelessly for the remote control.

7. We humbly asked our creator to re-wire our brain to reflect a more self-centered mindset.

8. We made a detailed list of everyone we had been doing everything for and gave them each a copy of “the do it yourself guide to empowered living”.

9. We also made amends to everyone we had been doing everything for and let them know it would never happen again.

10. We continued to take a personal inventory and when we found ourselves slipping back into our unhealthy, enabling patterns we promptly rapped ourselves upside the head, thus bringing us back to our senses.

11. We continued to seek through prayer and petition the strength needed to first recognize and then act upon the principle of “feed a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime”.

12. Having had this “mind blowing” revelation regarding how much time we were taking away from our own dreams, needs and desires we made it our mission to share our message of hope with people pleasers everywhere.

And so it was…..

I look forward to your thoughts and feedback on people pleasing.

Wisdom Through Failure/Special Offer/John Page Burton

Greetings,

As many of you know I recently published Wisdom Through Failure, Guiding Principles for Life & Business. I have been quite humbled by the feedback I have received from all of the amazing people who have purchased a copy of this book. Many of you have written to me or spoken with me and shared your own personal story of how this book has helped you gain clarity and experience breakthroughs in areas of your life where you previously felt like a failure. I have had several parents order additional copies of Wisdom Through Failure for their children, nieces and nephews. A mother of three recently wrote me a note saying, “I don’t want to ever see another teenage suicide that can be traced back to a fear of failure. Thank you for teaching us that failure isn’t a bad thing”. I agree that this is a very real concern for many young adults living in today’s highly competitive world. I encourage parents to show their children some grace as they evolve into the amazing people they will become. Feel free to show yourself some grace as well, failure is necessary for our growth!

SPECIAL OFFER…

If you have not ordered your copy of Wisdom Through Failure (or if you would like to order an additional copy) I have created a special offer just for you. Everyone who places an order this week will receive a complimentary, 30 minute private coaching call with me. (Life or Business) I will contact you within 24 hours of receiving your order to schedule your complimentary private coaching call. *Offer expires on Friday, July 25th, 2014. To learn more about my coaching practice and to order a copy of Wisdom Through Failure please visit http://www.johnpageburton.com

I look forward to visiting with you and THANK YOU in advance for supporting my message.

Cheers,

John Page Burton

7 “HOT” Traits Found In REAL MEN…John Page Burton

“Where have all the REAL MEN gone”? This question was posed by a female student enrolled in one of my relationship workshops. “Your looking at one” a male participant said confidently as other students began to snicker in anticipation of a potential showdown. So, what does a “real man” look like, I asked. “Well I can certainly tell you what he doesn’t look like” another female student exclaimed. Thus began an open, honest discussion centered around what constitutes a “REAL MAN”. At the end of our discussion, the majority of our group was in consensus that the following 7 traits determine the overall “hotness” of a “REAL MAN”.

GUYS, WHERE DO YOU RANK ON THE “HOT METER”?

Romantic. “Real men” are not afraid to exhibit public displays of affection or speak loving words of affirmation to the object of their desire. Holding hands, snuggling or “being silly” are traits found in “real men”.

Emotional Intelligence. “Real men” control their emotions and are also in tune with the emotional needs of their partner. “Real men” are proactive, not reactive. They are comfortable listening to different points of view and refrain from forcing their opinion on others.

Awareness.”Real men” have the ability to focus beyond themselves. They are acutely aware that the world doesn’t revolve around their want’s and needs. They are conscious of and attentive to the needs of others.

Language. “Real men” know that listening is more important than talking. Their words are respectful and they don’t need to raise their voice or use profanity to FORCE their point across.

Masculine. “Real men” are comfortable in their masculinity and never see a need to apologize for standing firm in their values or beliefs. “Real men” step up and take leadership roles in their family and community. “Real men” don’t “go along to get along”.

Energy. “Real men” make health a top priority. They maintain a high level of discipline and take pride in their vitality. Regardless of age, their energy inspires others.

Nurturing. “Real men” support and encourage personal and relationship growth. They celebrate their partners wins and are empathetic when things don’t turn out as planned. “Real men” genuinely care about and are considerate of their partners needs and desires.

As we concluded the seminar one of our male students summed it up best when he said…”I feel like I now have permission to bring my authentic self into my relationship”. That’s a pretty cool realization!

As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.

The Worst Feeling In The World & 5 Strategies To Overcome It…John Page Burton

Recently, a client asked me a very thought provoking question. “What do you consider to be the worst feeling in the world”? I pondered this question for a moment and answered…”not living up to my God given potential”. During my lifetime I have experienced the death of loved ones, illness, divorce, business failure and a myriad of other life challenges. Although difficult at the time, these emotional storms eventually passed, making me a stronger person for having weathered the experience. The same can’t be said for the times in my life when I have been haunted by feelings of underachievement. All of us know whether or not we are putting forth our best effort in our relationship, career, spiritual life and health. We can lie to everyone around us but we can’t lie to ourselves. This is the unique “check and balance” system that God included with every soul. Whenever I have taken shortcuts, cheated, sabotaged my success or quit when the journey became difficult, I have been left with a profound sense of disappointment. I know that I have control over my choices and in that moment I sold out on myself. Any excuse, attempt at blame or justification for my lack of effort will not change the fact that I have not lived up to my “God given potential”.

Below are 5 strategies that help me stay on track in my continuing efforts to realize my “God given potential”.

LIVING WITH PURPOSE & PASSION. In today’s world “goal setting” has become quite cliche. We are encouraged to set goals and go after our dreams and yet many of us have no idea what we really desire? A person who lives with purpose also lives with passion. Passion fuels imagination and imagination is the mother of invention. What are you passionate about? What will your legacy be? What are your God given talents? What inspires you? I have always enjoyed writing and yet was told by several “well meaning” people that it was impractical and that I should focus on getting a “real job”. Today, I earn my living as a writer, speaker and educator. All of this became possible when I made the decision to FOLLOW MY PASSION! My driving purpose is to help heal the world by sharing my life experiences and wisdom with others.

HIRE A COACH. Hiring a coach is an investment in yourself. A coach offers an objective set of eyes. Good coaches are trained to get to the core of an issue and then design and hold you accountable to a strategy that will help you BREAKTHROUGH your self imposed barriers and realize your “God given potential”. Most coaches offer an initial consultation which provides you with an opportunity to see if the relationship will be a good fit. To learn about coaching feel free to visit my website. http://www.johnpageburton.com I certainly continue to benefit from the wisdom and guidance of my coaches and mentors.

TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE. “The world owes us nothing, it was here first” is one of my favorite quotes. It means that WE are solely responsible for the quality of our lives. When we take full responsibility for our ALL of our outcomes we are more likely to maximize our “God given potential”. Playing the “victim” role never serves us. Life is not about what happens to us but rather who we become from the experience.

ASK GOD, HE GIFTED YOU THE POTENTIAL TO BEGIN WITH. Stated another way…go to prayer. We all face challenges in our lives and it is human nature to exhibit fear and doubt. When we find ourselves questioning our potential we can take comfort in knowing that we can go straight to the source and ask for some clarity. Prayer and meditation allow us to clear the clutter and reconnect with our “God given potential”.

EVALUATE YOUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to become a better person rather than people who support underachievement. The fastest way to change the quality of our lives is to change our associations. Clients routinely ask me, “does this include family”? I encourage my clients to ask themselves this question…If you were not related to this person how much time would you spend with them? One of the surest ways to remain a “chronic underachiever” is to hang out with them! Here’s the million dollar question…Does your current circle of influence spend most of their time talking about other people or talking about IDEAS? HINT…If you are the smartest person in the room it is time to find another room! Change your association, change your life!

Thanks for allowing me to share my “God given potential” with you. As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.

Sometimes Life Just Sucks! John Page Burton

Let’s face it…sometimes life just sucks! It doesn’t matter how religious, spiritual or immersed in personal growth we are, when life throws us a wicked curve ball we find ourselves swinging wildly at the fence! I know that when someone has told me to “turn my frown upside down” I have often felt like punching them! It’s during times like these that we must show ourselves some EXTRA grace and give ourselves permission to release our emotions before we can truly move on.

Whenever we experience any type of adversity, our challenge is to look at it as objectively as possible. Below, are 3 considerations that can help us stay grounded in presence, even during the most trying times.

*We must be mindful of the meaning we attach to our challenges. Many times we unknowingly attach a meaning to a current challenge, a meaning that was birthed in another place and time. The meaning we have assigned to our current challenge has little if anything to do with our present reality. This “preassigned meaning” can skew our perspective and provide us with a distorted view of our true reality. It is imperative that we focus on our current reality and make our decisions accordingly. Remember…different challenge, different point in time.

*Are we experiencing PAST or PRESENT emotions? Many of us link PAST emotions to our current challenges. For example, let’s say that I recently lost a close friend to Cancer. I may find myself bringing up unresolved emotions around my fathers death from Cancer even though it occurred a decade earlier. As I begin to replay the tapes of all the things I “should” have said or done while my father was still alive, I may find myself inconsolable. I have shifted into a state where I am experiencing strong emotions surrounding both deaths. This is a very intense state of grief. By shifting my focus to my present reality (friends death) I can honor my current emotions of grief without entwining them with the lingering emotions surrounding my fathers death. This awareness can help keep us grounded as we experience this type of challenge. *Albeit, easier said than done.

*What we resist will persist. Perspective is usually based on perception. Many times, our greatest breakthrough’s occur when we are willing to change our perspective. I know that some of my greatest challenges remained steadfast as long as I remained steadfast. During my live seminars, I often ask two people to stand facing each other with their palms pressed together. By using just their palms I ask them to try and push each other out of an imaginary circle I have constructed on the floor. Invariably, they both dig in and engage in what amounts to no more than an unproductive pushing match. I then pull one of participants aside and ask them to push for a few seconds and then drop their arms. As soon as one of the participants drops their arms the other participant lunges forward, falling off balance. This is the exact same thing that happens in life. As soon as we drop our arms (SURRENDER) the person or problem we are struggling with loses it’s power over us. What we have resisted has persisted until we have surrendered. Through surrender we may also find our greatest joy.

To sum it up…Sometimes life just sucks, what we resist tends to persist, we must remain in the present moment and be mindful of the meaning we attach to our challenges. This is a tall order, however, it can certainly keep our focus where it needs to be…NOW.

As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback!

3 Considerations for Creating an Authentic Life…John Page Burton

Do you find yourself routinely questioning what you “should” be doing with your life? Do you find yourself comparing your success to the “perceived” success of others? Have you ever felt like a complete failure? Is your life heavily influenced by the opinions of family and friends? Have you ever questioned whether you deserved happiness and success? If you’re like the vast majority of us, the answer to these questions is a resounding YES! ALL of us have had moments of self doubt and we have ALL been exposed to the “wisdom”of those who seem to always know what’s best for us. We live in an image driven society where a great deal of our perspective is shaped by perception. Here’s a thought…If we are shaping our perspective (current beliefs) on perception (what we assume to be true) it stands to reason we could be wrong on a fairly regular basis. Assumptions are not a true indicator of our actual reality. With this being said, ALL of us would be well served to tap into and trust our inner voice. I refer to my inner voice as my “authentic self”.

3 considerations for creating an authentic life…

*GET TO REALLY KNOW THY SELF. When we really don’t know who we are or what we stand for we can be easily influenced. When we do know who we are and what we stand for we are bold. Knowing ourselves means that we acknowledge our strengths and weakness and we consciously choose to focus our energy on building upon our strengths. “Going along to get along” is never an option because we are firmly rooted in our beliefs. When we really know ourselves we can remain open to different perspectives because we recognize them as a pathway to knowledge and growth, however, we will only adopt a new perspective if it is in alignment with our core beliefs. Really knowing ourselves keeps us grounded in authenticity.

*ALIGNMENT. When our car is out of alignment most of us will grip the steering wheel tightly because we know if we let go the car will drift off center. When our spine is out of alignment we tend to over compensate our movement. Over time, this overcompensation can cause other health related challenges. Equally important is our physical and emotional alignment. What people and groups do we align ourselves with? What are their attitudes and beliefs? What does our health profile look like? Are we making time for exercise and consuming the proper nutrition? When our health is not in alignment we lack energy and other areas of our life begin to suffer. HEALTH IS ENERGY! Are our actions in alignment with our intentions? Are we moving toward what we desire or are we avoiding personal growth? Living authentically means we are continuing our quest for balance.

*GET COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. All of us have experienced fear. Fear means that we are alive. I have a friend who is a daredevil. She lives for the next adrenaline rush and will attempt just about any type of stunt that meets her “need for speed”. Ironically she is deathly afraid of spiders. This fear causes her to have her home fumigated once a month just in case a spider may have survived the last fumigation. Trust me, the word is out in the spider community to steer clear of her house! We must learn to embrace our fear and move forward. Once we confront a specific fear and experience a breakthrough, that fear will never hold us hostage again. The sooner we face our fear, the sooner we can be free. My friend would be well served to visit The Arizona- Sonora Desert Museum and learn how vital spiders are to our ecosystem. Because many of us fear “hurting someones feelings” we hold back from speaking our truth. Speaking our truth may at first be uncomfortable but the more we do it the more comfortable it becomes. Truth by it’s very nature is authentic.

Realizing our authentic self is a life long process. Every challenging life experience presents us with an opportunity to learn and grow. Every choice we make comes with an important life lesson. Sometimes we pass the lesson, sometimes we fail miserably. No matter what life presents us with, our goal is to remain grounded in our core beliefs and values. This is what it means to live an authentic life.

As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.