Do You Suffer From GIGS? John Page Burton

I love getting older! I never thought I would say this, but it’s true. One of the benefits of getting older is that we tend to view everything from a more mature perspective. “We have been there and done that” which allows us to react to life events in a calmer manner. I have adopted the mantra, “this to shall pass” and I know that getting worked up will only rob me of the energy I need to ride out a storm.

The majority of my coaching clients hire me because they feel “stuck” in a specific area of their life. Over the years, I have been able to identify certain patterns of behavior that keep the majority of us from experiencing a much deeper quality of life.  Most of the time I am able to identify the cause of my clients discomfort as being what I refer to as GIGS. (Grass Is Greener Syndrome) More than likely a person will not die as a direct result of GIGS, but if left untreated it can cause a person a significant amount of anxiety and discomfort. During my initial client consultation, it is relatively easy to spot the warning signs of GIGS. I have taken the liberty to compile a list of the most common traits found in a person who suffers from GIGS. These traits have proven to be very reliable for the the early detection and subsequent treatment of GIGS. Here is the list of traits common to a person who suffers from GIGS.

*Impatience. Things are not happening fast enough for them.

*They are intolerant of others.

*They have an insatiable need for instant gratification.

*They crave constant recognition. They must be acknowledged for everything they do or they feel undervalued.

*They have extremely rigid expectations. Everything and everyone must conform to these expectations or they become very uncomfortable.

*They rely heavily on routines. Spontaneity is very challenging for them.

*They take people for granted.

*They lack a true sense of gratitude.

*They desire to fix others rather than look at themselves.

*I will just go/be somewhere else is their predominant mindset. They are willing to “bolt” if things don’t work out exactly as they envision them. This will include work, relationships, friendships, marriage and geographical locations.

Once we recognize the traits associated with GIGS, we are able to make a course correction and get “unstuck”.

Don’t let GIGS take away from the quality of your life! YOU deserve the best life has to offer. REMEMBER…The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, it’s greener where you water it!

As always I welcome your thoughts and comments.

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If You Think “Life Sucks”, Elevate Your Standards…John Page Burton

In my role as a life and business coach, it’s not uncommon to here the phrase, “life sucks”.  Recently, my friend Lisa posted a great quote that sums up my feelings regarding the chronic use of the phrase “life sucks”. “If you don’t appreciate what you have now, you may find yourself talking about what you once had”. In all fairness, there will be times when life does temporarily “suck” and we are well served to get angry, cry, vent to a friend or release our feelings in other emotionally healthy ways. The danger occurs when we develop a “life sucks” mindset. If we find ourselves slipping into a “life sucks” mindset, it’s time to elevate our standards.

Let’s take a closer look at the word SUCKS

Stagnation. If we’re not growing, we’re dying! Over time, stagnation fosters frustration. Frustrated people tend to use phrases like “life sucks” and routinely blame the outside world for their unhappiness. Solution… GET CURIOUS, TRY NEW THINGS, MEET NEW PEOPLE, COLLECT NEW EXPERIENCES.

Unconscious. When we go through life expecting external conditions to be “perfect” before we can feel happy or fulfilled, we effectively give away our personal power. Rarely, if ever will conditions be “perfect”. Basing our happiness on conditions or expectations is an unconscious way to live. Solution… TAKE RISKS, BE SPONTANEOUS, MARVEL AT LIFE’S IMPERFECTIONS.

Clarity. When we lack clarity of purpose we tend to roll through life accepting whatever life “dishes up”. When it “dishes up” anything we don’t like, we often determine that “life sucks”. Solution… DREAM, SET GOALS, HIRE A COACH, DESIGN A PLAN OF ACTION, GO AFTER WHAT IT IS YOU DESIRE.

Karma. When we operate from a “life sucks” mindset we routinely attract people and situations that validate our assertion. Simply put, we get back more of what we put out. When we operate from a mindset of gratitude, we tend to see life as a series of growth oriented lessons and we begin attracting the right teachers. Solution… SAY THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR EXPERIENCES, SPEAK UPLIFTING WORDS, OFFER GENUINE PRAISE, TALK NICELY TO YOURSELF.

Scarcity.  A “life sucks” attitude is the bi-product of a scarcity mindset.  Many of us “buy into” the fallacy that there is a shortage of opportunities and resources readily available to us and so we use this fallacy as a convenient excuse to support our assertion that “life sucks”. In reality, there is more than enough of everything for everyone. Solution… TAKE INVENTORY OF ALL YOU HAVE, GIVE AWAY MATERIAL POSSESSIONS YOU DON’T USE OR NEED, TITHE YOUR TIME, TREASURE & TALENT.

RAISE YOUR STANDARDS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

A standard is considered a model of authority or excellence. It is a measurement of value. To become all we are capable of becoming, we must begin thinking differently.

*EXPECT THE BEST. Whether it’s a challenging project at work or a new personal relationship, “expect the best”. Far too many of us reflect back on a past loss or disappointment and carry this baggage into a our present reality. Today is a brand new day, expect to succeed! Affirm that this will be the best relationship you have ever had or that you will CRUSH your project at work and then fully commit to the success process.

*CAREFULLY CHOOSE YOUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE. The 5-7 people we CHOOSE to spend the most time with have the biggest influence on how we think and behave. CHOOSE wisely! I am highlighting the word CHOOSE because it is totally up to us to decide how we spend our time and who we spend it with.

*DON’T SETTLE. Why settle for scraps when you can enjoy the banquet! Many of us hold a misguided belief that we are only “allowed” to rise as high as our parents.  For example,”we have always been a middle class family, that’s just who we are”. When we put our dreams and aspirations on hold rather than make someone else feel uncomfortable, we usually end up frustrated and angry. PLAY BIG….it’s your life!

*DON’T MAJOR IN MINOR THINGS. When we have clarity of purpose, extreme focus and the help of a coach or mentor we tend to stay in a results oriented mindset. If we find ourselves getting caught up in “water cooler gossip” it’s time for a check up from the neck up.

*DON’T PERSONALIZE FAILURE. All of us experience set backs and failure, it’s part of life.  As I shared in my book, Wisdom Through Failure, it is through failure that most of us attain true wisdom. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. The key is that we are in the game. “Life sucks” is not the answer to failure, gathering the lessons from the experience and getting right back in the game is the answer!

Life is a gift…OPEN IT!!!
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SHIFT Happens! Change Is A CHOICE…John Page Burton

“We problem solve from the past, we create in the present”. I tend to feel guilty, frustrated and angry when I choose to visit the past. I feel happy, fulfilled, energized and inspired when I choose to reside in the present. All of us drag around baggage from the past, some of us require two bellhops! Freedom comes when we take ownership of anything we regret or feel badly about, acknowledge that we did the best we could with what insight we had at the time and we move on. MENTAL SHIFT=FREEDOM. “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change”. Over the years, I have coached hundreds of clients who formed their identity around an event(s) that happened somewhere in their past. “I’m an incest survivor”, “I’m the child of an alcoholic parent” or “I had to fight for everything I ever got” are some of the more common ways many of us choose to stay connected to our past. The key word is CHOOSE. I know that for years I chose to identify with my past, which contributed to a great deal of discomfort and what I refer to as my “lost years”.  Once I consciously made the decision to “stop identifying with my past” my life began to take on a much deeper meaning.

SHIFT Happens…

Self Awareness. We begin to fully embrace who we are TODAY the moment we make the conscious choice to stop identifying with the negative messages/labels our parents, teachers, siblings or friends unconsciously bestowed on us. When we come to realize the identity of “our youth” doesn’t serve us as adults we have taken the first action step toward creating a permanent SHIFT. With self awareness comes a profound sense of personal responsibility. We can relish our NEW role as the chief architect of our life.

Habits. We can now begin creating new habits that will support our SHIFT. The most important one is our habit of “self talk”.  Do we speak in past or present tense? Is our “self talk” uplifting or self deprecating?  This single distinction/habit is a game changer in the world of SHIFT. Our growing self awareness encourages us to pay closer attention to our “self talk”. We understand and embrace the philosophy of “garbage in, garbage out”.

Independence. Freed from our past programming, we are now solely responsible for creating and designing our NEW life plan. In other words, we have given ourselves permission to paint our own, unique mosaic. At first, this can be daunting because we have always relied on the opinions and direction of others.  The key is to jump in and start applying the first brush strokes on our new canvas. As they say “try it, you’ll like it”.

Faith.  As we begin experiencing results from our new SHIFT, we are establishing a core FAITH in our ability to create the results we desire. Over time, our “muscles of faith” will grow stronger and stronger until they become our new foundation. The most effective way to build muscles of faith is through a willingness to take risks. The bigger the risk the greater our faith must be and this is how permanent SHIFT HAPPENS.

Tenacity. Each time we experience a breakthrough in our personal or professional lives we have effectively established a new point A. We have created a positive reference point that we can reflect back on, one that gives us the courage to move toward our next challenge. Every significant breakthrough in life began with a decision to make a SHIFT.  A SHIFT is the result of our tenacious desire to do and be more.

Until next time….Here’s to SHIFT!

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5 “NEEDS” That Stifle Our Personal & Professional Growth…John Page Burton

We all have needs. We need air, water and food to survive. Most of us have a need to feel safe, secure, loved and cared for.  I believe we can all agree that these are healthy needs. Unfortunately, not all of our needs are healthy. Many are destructive and can significantly stifle our personal and professional growth? Let’s take a closer look at 5 unhealthy needs and what we can do to create a shift.

1. The Need To Be Right. This need causes people to become argumentative, confrontational, condescending and vindictive. This need is Ego driven. The need to be right can be very polarizing in our personal and professional relationships. A person needing to be right struggles to consider any point of view that differs from than their own. Growth occurs when we become open and accepting of NEW and DIFFERENT beliefs, opinions and perspectives. It’s not as important to be right as it is to be respectful in our communication with others.

2. The Need For Constant Approval. This person expects to be acknowledged for everything they do. This juvenile, insecurity driven need is emotionally draining to spouses, friends, family members and co-workers. If you don’t acknowledge and shower them with praise they often become angry and resentful. Growth occurs when we learn to be humble. Our ACTIONS will always speak much louder than our words. We must learn to accept unsolicited praise, say thank you and move on. Nobody likes being around a person who “gloats” or demands acknowledgement.

3. The Need To Be Noticed. A person driven by this need is heavily influenced by appearances and is always in search of a new audience. They tend to base their self worth on material possessions and will go to great lengths to “flaunt their stuff”.  Characteristically, they are loud, boisterous communicators. They will do anything to grab the spotlight and they love to be seen as the “star of the show”. When they feel ignored, many will throw “adult temper tantrums” in a last ditch effort to satisfy their craving for attention. Growth occurs when we realize that substance is much sexier than stuff. People who crave notoriety tend to be seen as “show offs and braggarts”. People who exhibit humility and gratitude are generally seen as intelligent, trustworthy, responsible people.

4. The Need For Control. This need is fueled by insecurity and fear. Control is an avoidance strategy. At a subconscious level, the controller is simply avoiding their own self doubt and fear by focusing their energy on “fixing” and “manipulating” the people around them. Controllers are disappointed, frustrated and angry most of the time because rarely if ever do the people around them live up to their rigid expectations. “Control freaks” have a deep seated fear of being out of control and will do everything they can to control their environment. Growth occurs when we release our death grip on control, face our fears, embrace and accept failure, learn to delegate, appreciate that most people don’t desire to be “fixed” and commence on a dedicated journey toward self acceptance.

5. The Need To Be Needed. In my book Wisdom Through Failure, I refer to this need as “Helpful Harry Syndrome”. Helpful Harry routinely prioritizes the needs of others before his own. At first glance this seems to be a noble trait but in reality it is an avoidance strategy. Eventually, Helpful Harry becomes an angry giver as he comes to realize that many of his needs are not being met. The need to be needed does not encourage self sufficiency. In other words, “Helpful Harry’s” are teaching their children, spouses and employees to rely on others first. Growth occurs when we establish the habit of meeting our own needs before we focus on meeting the needs of others. With that being said, it is important to prioritize the needs of small children, those with disabilities and of course the elderly. We must encourage our adult children, spouses and employees to become problem solvers and doers. Admittedly, many may consider this a “self centered” approach, however, in the long term it will pay big dividends.

The beauty of personal growth is that ALL of us are a work in progress. It is VERY safe to say that none of us will ever achieve total mastery. We are human! Our goal is to recognize a familiar program when it begins to run and make an immediate shift toward our truth. With each shift we lay the foundation for our NEW REALITY.  As a wise man once said…SHIFT HAPPENS!

As Always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.
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Are You A CAREfrontational Leader?..John Page Burton

The vast majority of us will serve in some type of leadership capacity. Many of us will lead companies or sales organizations, others will lead classrooms, community organizations, political groups or non profits. The most important leadership role we may ever experience is the role of parent and family leader. We must also focus on becoming a consistent leader of self. During a recent conversation with my friend Ross, he referred to me as a “CAREfrontational” business coach. I asked him what he meant and he replied “you are very direct in your communication, yet your compassion and understanding clearly shine through”. I liked his term CAREfrontational and promised Ross that I would incorporate it into my next article on leadership. Let’s take a closer look at two different leadership models…

CAREfrontational vs Confrontational Leadership.

Far too many leaders in their quest for significance, employ a confrontational, authoritarian style of leadership. Most confrontational leaders believe their approach produces results and garners respect. In reality, this approach is extremely polarizing within an organization and over time it tends to contribute to higher turnover rates and a decrease in productivity due largely to the volatile nature of the work environment. Some of the words commonly used to describe confrontational leadership include; argumentative, combative, contrary, volatile, quarrelsome, contentious, scrappy, authoritarian, unfair and dictatorial. Some of the feelings this type of leadership creates within the rank and file of an organization include; mistrust, fear, doubt, drama, self protection, concern, trepidation, anxiety and security. Confrontational leaders create a culture of ME vs you and “I am always right”!

The “CAREfrontational” leadership approach is focused on the organization as a whole. The CAREfrontational leadership model seeks to identify the strengths and weaknesses of each team member, understand their primary communication style and focuses on exploiting the strength and leveraging the weakness of each member of the team. This leadership style encourages delegation and prioritizes time management. The communication style of a CAREfrontational leader is explicit yet respectful and is designed to instruct not degrade. Words used to describe this leadership style include; team, health, welfare, maintenance, concern, interest, importance, provision, responsibility, collaboration, growth and trust. Some of the feelings this leadership style creates within the organization include; pride, integrity, belief, autonomy, freedom, creativity, expression, fulfillment and personal responsibility. Doesn’t this seem like a more inspiring and empowering WORK environment?

QUESTIONS…

Which type of leadership model do you believe fosters a true sense of team? Which business environment might have a lower turnover rate? Which model encourages vision and collaboration? Which business environment is more authentic to the human spirit? Which environment would you prefer to work in?

The myth surrounding the CAREfrontaional leadership approach is that it is to “liberal” and doesn’t create a big enough gap between “leadership” and the “employee”. I disagree. The confrontational leadership approach has proven to be highly effective in the United States military where breaking our soldiers down and building them back up is essential for survival and success on the battlefield, however, the confrontational leadership approach is very INEFFECTIVE in today’s competitive business environment where INNOVATION tends to trump intimidation. Unhappy, stifled employees, simply transfer their talent to an environment that is more conducive to their personal and professional growth. The CAREfrontational leader understands that TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK and they strive to create synergy as they grow and protect the financial interests or their organization.

THE BOTTOM LINE…

Over the past 20 years I have had the privilege to spend time around an array of very dynamic, highly effective, CEO’s and business leaders. One of the common traits inherent to each one of them is their ability to create a compelling vision and sell that vision to their entire organization. I refer to this as the “buy in”. The “buy in” is essential for creating massive results in any organization. Rather than take an authoritarian approach, CAREfrontational leaders take a much different approach. They seek out and hire “play makers” and are then willing to get out of their way and let them make plays. In the sports world, this philosophy has proven to be a successful formula for winning CHAMPIONSHIPS. Another significant trait found in CAREfrontational leaders is their ability to build, nurture and maintain influential networks. THE TAKEAWAY…A truly effective CEO or business leader is rarely the person who has the most impressive credentials but rather the person who carries the most influence. Our personal and professional circle of influence say’s more about who we have become professionally than our resume does. In the spirit of polarization, confrontational leaders tend to infuse their insatiable need for significance into the organizations and networks they belong to. On the other hand, CAREfrontational leaders understand the value of relationships and make building and nurturing them a top priority.

In my role as an executive coach, my clients hire me for one reason, they desire to become more effective leaders. I am not concerned about being popular, I care about my clients achieving the results they seek. Can I be direct? Yes. Do I care? Absolutely. Can I be extremely CAREfrontational, you bet! Do the majority of my clients respect me? I believe my authenticity shines through more often than not. I encourage each of you to take a closer look at your current leadership style and ask yourself if it is helping or hindering your organizational growth? Admittedly, this is a tough question to ask as our Ego has a significant investment in our current reality but it is a question that we must pose if we desire to be the amazing leader we are capable of becoming.

As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.a41

The Benefit of Checking Into REHAB…John Page Burton

If you’re the type of person who sets big goals and desires to play an above average game of life you’re more than likely aware of the benefits gained from a trip to rehab. I recommend checking in quarterly. I like to refer to rehab as my “check up from the neck up”. Similar to residential real estate, my rehab process reflects a period of restoration. I keep what is working and remove or modify what is not. My trip to rehab is designed to move me closer to my stated objectives both personally and professionally. Let’s check into rehab…

REHAB…What really happens behind closed doors?

Review. Our first step is to take an in depth look at what has and hasn’t worked during the previous quarter. Did we reach the goals we set? If not, why? In order to reach our objectives we must have a strategic plan in place along with a reliable system to measure our progress. We must be willing to make course corrections when necessary. Conducting a comprehensive review enables us to analyze our past performance and then chart a new course for the upcoming quarter, a course that is based heavily on our past success. Heed the adage…”if it ain’t broken, don’t try and fix it”.

Edit. What needs to be changed, modified or re-designed? If something isn’t working it’s often time to make a directional shift. Having edited the previous quarter we can now establish new objectives and create a detailed strategy for accomplishing our goals.

Habits. What habits are keeping us from reaching our stated objectives?. What new habits can we establish that will support our vision? For example, we may find that we have created the habit of avoidance in a specific area of our business. This habit may be what is keeping us from reaching our full potential. Armed with this awareness we can begin establishing new habits, habits that will move us closer to our stated objective and away from our avoidance strategies.

Action. What actions do we need to take in order to meet our objectives? Action leads to results. Massive action leads to massive results. I refer to this as the law of action. When we hit the proverbial wall or find ourselves experiencing doubt or fear the ONLY way we will experience a BREAKTHROUGH is by engaging in massive action. Action is the great equalizer.

Brainstorm. What new, innovative ideas will we incorporate into our next 90 day burst of focused activity? What resources (material and human) can we enroll into our action plan? Who can we add to our mastermind group that will bring additional insight to our mission? (If you don’t have a mastermind group it is a good idea to start one) Brainstorming is inspiring and can be extremely beneficial as we grow our business. Remember, the quality of our life experience is a direct reflection of the questions we ask.

I gain tremendous value from my trips to rehab and my hope is that you will find your experience fruitful as well.
As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.

The Truth About “Magic Bullets”…John Page Burton

In today’s fast paced, I want it now world, millions of people are searching for the proverbial “magic bullet”. They want this “magic bullet” to immediately improve their health, business growth, intimacy and general happiness. Many of my clients initially seem quite receptive to any “shortcut” that would enable them to avoid putting in the hard work and discipline needed to achieve the success they seek. I routinely advise my clients that success comes to those who are willing to roll up their sleeves and engage in the SUCCESS PROCESS. Ironically, five of the key elements inherent to the SUCCESS PROCESS just so happen to spell out the word MAGIC. Let’s take a closer look…

MAGIC…

MOTIVATION. Motivation is an inside job, either you’re motivated or your not. There is no “magic bullet” that can motivate someone to do something they’re not dedicated to accomplishing. Find your “WHY”, design a plan, secure an accountability partner and get started!

ACTION. We must be willing to take massive action. Action doesn’t come in a “pill” or secret potion, it is born from BIG DREAMS. The bigger our dreams the more action we will be willing to take. Action builds muscles of courage and boosts confidence.

GOALS. Our attainment of a significant goal is a profound experience. Who we become as a person from the time we set our goal to the moment our goal is realized (the process) is the true “magic” of the goal. “Magic bullets” are not an option, hard work and sacrifice is the determining factor.

INTUITION. Tapping into and trusting our inner voice is THE grounding principle of the success process. All of us know how we truly feel in every interaction or situation we encounter. Our ability to communicate this truth sets us apart from those who are in a continual search for the “magic bullet”. When we are in touch with our authentic self we have little use for outside chatter. We take full responsibility for our RESULTS.

COMMITMENT. Without a high level of commitment we will never achieve anything of real significance. We must be committed to our plan of action. Our dedicated commitment to ourselves and our plan will get us through set backs, rejection, failure and our commitment will accelerate our resolve.

THE TAKEAWAY…

There is no such thing as a “magic bullet”. The only “magic” lies within the process. The process goes along way in determining who we become. LEARN TO EMBRACE THE PROCESS.

I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.

Learning To Approach Life With A Profound Sense Of Purpose…John Page Burton

Are you treating your life like a hobby or are you approaching it with a profound sense of purpose? Far too many of us are in “hobby mode” because we don’t believe that we deserve success or we have become deathly afraid of failure. Others have not given themselves permission to dream any bigger than what they were told they could achieve by parents, teachers, friends or others who themselves were afraid to leave their own little box to explore all of the amazing opportunities available to them. If you truly desire to play a much bigger, more impactful game of life then the tips below are guaranteed to move you in the right direction, provided you initiate them.

5 tips for playing a much bigger game of life….

1. Quit dabbling. Far too many of us are “dabbling” our way through life. We get excited about something, run with it for awhile and then lose interest and move on to the next “bright shiny object”. When we live with a profound sense of purpose we are able to harness the power of focus and begin accomplishing great things. What would your life look like if you quit dabbling, defined your purpose and applied the laser focus necessary to see your dreams become a reality? My guess is that you would begin to feel better about the new, committed you!

2. Get curious. Curiosity leads to opportunity. As children most of us were quite curious about the world around us. We tried new things, explored unchartered terrain and didn’t take NO for an answer. Slowly but surely, we found ourselves stepping into a custom designed box. We were encouraged by our parents and teachers to choose a specific path and then follow a set of instructions that would lead us to our “final” destination. Many of us woke up one day to the realization that this plan wasn’t working and the air in our little box was getting thinner. What would your life look like if you began approaching it with a sense of curiosity and you gave yourself permission to try new things and explore new opportunities? My guess is that you would quickly tear the lid off your tattered box and begin racing toward the opportunities awaiting you!

3. Give yourself permission to be great! We are usually our own biggest critic! Most of us judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else ever could. We compare ourselves and our success to those around us and when we don’t feel like we are measuring up we become even more judgmental and critical toward ourselves. What would your life look like if you took your gaze off of others and began running the race you were destined to run? My guess is that you would have more energy and be a much happier person!

4. Seek role models. Once we define our purpose it’s time to find a role model, coach or mentor who can help us create a road map to reach our destination. There are no shortcuts to success, however, a good coach or mentor can help speed up our learning curve by sharing advice and designing strategies based on proven results. What would your life look like if you had a clear cut plan of action for achieving your goals as well as a coach or mentor to hold you accountable? My guess is that you would experience the magic that happens when responsibility meets accountability!

5. Embrace failure. I recently wrote a book titled Wisdom Through Failure. The premise behind this book is that in order to gain true wisdom we must accept and learn to embrace failure. We are all going to fail. When we personalize it we build scar tissue that causes us to become resistant to taking risks or trying new things. What would your life look like if you put yourself in a position to fail? My guess is that you will feel far more empowered than you will if you continue to play it safe?

I believe that all of us desire to make a difference in our world. The difference between you and somebody you envy is that you settled for less! As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback. Cheers!

10 Reasons Why Moms “ROCK” In Business…John Page Burton

After a recent conversation with a female client who manages to effectively balance the roles of being the primary care giver to three small children with also being the CEO of a progressive start up company, it dawned on me why “moms” tend to make such outstanding business leaders. The skills that are required of motherhood are basically the same skills that are required of a successful business person. Below are 10 examples of the traits and skills inherent to both “moms” and business leaders.

1. Organizational skills. “Moms” are highly proficient at multitasking. They know where things stand and how to maximize both time and material resources. They are masters of logistics who understand that the devil is often found in the details. They routinely inspect what they expect.

2. Problem solvers. “Moms” rarely sweat the small stuff! They know where to focus their energy and when to release control. When a problem or obstacle arises, they transition into solution mode and stay there until they achieve a favorable outcome.

3. Master negotiators. “Moms” occupy a permanent seat at the bargaining table. They must possess the ability to impartially consider all evidence, weigh each argument and often render their decisions in the face of extreme opposition. They make decisions that are congruent with their core beliefs and values.

4. Financial management. “Moms” are masterful at establishing and living within a budget. They understand the value of a dollar and how to make it stretch. They are value oriented and consciously seek out the highest return for their investment. They will plan for a “rainy day” and they understand the fundamental principles of income to debt ratio.

5.Resource management. “Moms” can make 3 peanut butter sandwiches using 2 tablespoons of peanut butter and convince their kids that bread is what makes the sandwich so tasty in the first place. They are masterful at recycling clothes, shoes, books, bicycles and just about anything else that can serve a secondary purpose and still keep them within or under their budget.

6. They are true servant leaders. Need I say more. The early stages of motherhood could be described as a thankless job in which the compensation is low and the frustration is high. Motherhood requires an extreme outward focus.

7.Patience. “This to shall pass” becomes a daily mantra. “Moms” learn that all storm clouds will eventually blow over and be replaced by blue sky and rainbows. They recognize that maintaining patience is critical to their sanity. They learn to focus their energy on what they are able to control in their present moment rather than dwelling on the past or living in the future.

8. Flexibility. “Moms” recognize that life happens when they are making other plans. They instinctively understand the value of contingency plans and must be extremely quick on their feet. They are acutely aware when they are trying to put a square peg in a round hole and will usually be among the first to acknowledge that NOW would be a good time to head in a different direction.

9. Compassionate understanding. Life holds a profound truth…STUFF HAPPENS! Feelings get hurt, ego’s are bruised, fears surface, anger arises, jealousy brews and through it all a “mom” must remain objective and compassionate with those in her charge. Compassion is a guiding light to those who are lost.

10. Sense of humor. “Moms” know the secret to life…don’t take yourself or those around you to seriously. Maintaining a sense of humor is the healthiest way to navigate through trying times. A sense of humor helps us to maintain perspective and is also a reminder that we should not go through life treating everything as either do or die. A smile can often melt even the hardest heart.

In short, “moms” are natural family leaders who also make outstanding
business leaders! As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.

The 6 Truths of C.H.A.N.G.E. John Page Burton

We have all heard it said that someone “has really changed” or that someone “really needs to change”. Maybe we have been accused of “resisting change” or have been encouraged to “be the change” we wish to see in the world. I once heard it said that the only person who truly embraces change is a baby with a dirty diaper! Change is inevitable. Let’s take a closer look at what happens to us once we embrace the concept of CHANGE.

CHANGE…

Choice. Change is a choice. We can CHOOSE to stay in our current circumstances or we can CHOOSE to change them. I have a client who “hates living in California”. They cite traffic, cost of living, taxes, lack of water, smog, angry drivers, ineffective government, left wing crazies and the surge of illegal immigrants as some of their reasons for wanting to leave the state. I couldn’t help but ask them why on earth they would ever desire to leave such a lovely sounding place? Their answer says it all…”from what I hear, everywhere else is just as bad”. I rest my case…CHANGE is a CHOICE!

Habit. Whenever we begin to change something in our lives, we also begin creating a new habit. The fastest way to change a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit. For example, when I quit smoking I knew I would have to make some immediate changes if I was going to be successful. I bought a bike. Every time I had a strong craving I jumped on my bike and pedaled through the craving. I have not had a cigarette in 14 years and I cycle an average of 3,000 miles per year. Bye, bye, bad habit, hello good habit.

Action. Change begins in thought but is realized through ACTION. For a change to become permanent it must be accompanied by consistent ACTION. Again, using my smoking example, their are millions of people who are thinking about giving up cigarettes, however, most are unwilling to take and maintain the ACTION necessary to become a non smoker. The 3 actions to stop smoking are…1) DON’T BUY THEM! If you do break down and buy them… 2) DO NOT LIGHT THEM and if you break down and light one…3) DO NOT TAKE A PUFF. Anyone who takes and maintains these three actions WILL quit smoking and remain a non smoker. I know this strategy works because I followed it and quit. ***One of the hardest things I have ever done but well worth the short term pain it took to free myself from the bondage of nicotine.

New. When we make a change it becomes our new way of being. Anyone who has faced and conquered “the battle of the bulge” understands the power of change. In order to lose weight we must become committed to a new food plan and exercise routine. Our commitment to these fundamental changes will determine whether or not we release our unwanted pounds and if we are able to KEEP THEM OFF! Once a change becomes our new way of being, we no longer have to worry about going back to the way things were.

Growth. For most of us, our greatest personal growth occurs during periods of significant change. When the world around us begins to change, we have two choices; resist the change (reactive) or embrace the change and begin the process of adapting to our new reality (proactive). For example, I held a death grip on my CD player before finally embracing the world of MP-3. When I found myself experiencing a health challenge (Valley Fever) I found myself going through both emotional and physical changes. My ability to embrace and accept change was a key factor in maintaining my mental and emotional health while I recovered. When we view change as an opportunity to learn and grow it becomes much easier to embrace it.

Example. Our willingness to change can serve as an example for others to follow. A good friend of mine battled a prescription drug addiction for several years. One day his emotional pain became so great that he found himself reaching out to a local spiritual leader to help him end his dependence on prescription drugs. Over time, my friend was able to overcome his addiction and today he speaks to groups across the country about the dangers of prescription drugs. His willingness to make this significant life change has undoubtedly led to countless people being more mindful of the dangers associated with prescription drug use and we will never know how many lives he has saved.

Change happens! Our ability to accept it and use it as a stepping stone toward a more compelling future is the key. I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.