Anytime we have a clog in our emotional drain, we effectively block the flow of abundance. Living an abundant life is a function of our emotional intelligence. Whenever a drain is clogged, a small amount of water is released into the pipe, the remainder forms a dirty pool. Eventually the pool of dirty water drains, leaving behind a dark, sticky scum. Using this metaphor, how many of us have severely clogged emotional drains? Our clogs show up in the form of toxic family members, friends, employers, jobs and significant others. Before we know it, our emotional drain has become so clogged that little if anything gets released, leaving us surrounded by a thick layer of scum.
5 COMMON CLOGS….
Drama. “Not my monkeys, not my circus”! Drama shows up in many different forms and can be a significant “drain clogger”. Our challenge is to differentiate between situations that require legitimate concern and compassion from those that are no more than a ploy to gain control or attention. Gossip is a good example of a “drain clogger”. The gossipers underlying motivation is to discredit and harm. Be mindful of areas in your life where drama routinely shows up.
Relationships. Our personal, professional and most intimate relationships can serve up a wealth of drain clogging debris. How do we react when our boss repeatedly takes advantage of our time? We find out that our spouse has been having an affair with our “best friend”? Our kids quit speaking to us? Human relationships provide us with a plethora of opportunities for some serious personal growth.
Abuse. Emotional and physical abuse can be some of the hardest clogs to get unstuck. Overtime, they form a tight, seemingly impenetrable ball of gunk. When abuse takes place do we find ourselves justifying someones bad behavior or do we step up and say enough is enough?
Neediness. Our need to be needed can create significant clogs. Whenever we go through periods where our self esteem takes a hit it’s natural to overcompensate in other areas. For most of us, our childhood references come into play. Are we the peacemaker? Are we always the one reaching out to friends and family? Are we the person who everyone knows can’t say NO? Do we do everything for our kids? If we are not careful our drains become so clogged that we become angry givers.
Obsessiveness. Our obsession with past events or future concerns and worries can block the flow of energy needed to maximize our present moments. Do we harbor resentment toward people who harmed us years ago? Do we find ourselves regretting decisions we have made? Do we struggle with anger, guilt, envy or jealousy? Do we worry about the future and what it may hold?
DRANO….Time to clear our pipes!!!
Decisions. One of the best ways to keep our emotional drains debris free is by making informed decisions. When we take the time to think things through, we are prone to make fewer emotional decisions. Going along to get along is not an option.
Responsibility. Life runs more smoothly when we take personal responsibility for ALL of our actions and decisions. By claiming bottom line ownership, we tend to take our time and execute more effectively. Blaming others is never an option.
Action. The fastest way to prevent or remove a clog is by taking MASSIVE ACTION. When we experience a clogged drain most of us will run to the store and buy a jug of Drano. We pour it down the drain and WALLAH…everything begins to flow. In the world of emotional clogging, ACTION is our Drano. Taking ACTION moves us toward solutions.
Neutrality. Drama desires us to choose a side. Choosing our battles wisely can prevent the clogs of misunderstanding, resentment and mistrust. Remaining neutral allows us to be an observer rather than an active participant in drama.
Opportunity. Actively seeking and embracing new opportunities keeps us focused on the present moment. When we concentrate on what is in front of us we naturally distance ourselves from the past. We problem solve from our past, we create in the present.
We should always be looking for opportunities to learn and grow.
If your like most of us it’s probably time to unclog a few drains. As they say…”clean pipes = happier life”.
I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.