7 “HOT” Traits Found In REAL MEN…John Page Burton

“Where have all the REAL MEN gone”? This question was posed by a female student enrolled in one of my relationship workshops. “Your looking at one” a male participant said confidently as other students began to snicker in anticipation of a potential showdown. So, what does a “real man” look like, I asked. “Well I can certainly tell you what he doesn’t look like” another female student exclaimed. Thus began an open, honest discussion centered around what constitutes a “REAL MAN”. At the end of our discussion, the majority of our group was in consensus that the following 7 traits determine the overall “hotness” of a “REAL MAN”.


Romantic. “Real men” are not afraid to exhibit public displays of affection or speak loving words of affirmation to the object of their desire. Holding hands, snuggling or “being silly” are traits found in “real men”.

Emotional Intelligence. “Real men” control their emotions and are also in tune with the emotional needs of their partner. “Real men” are proactive, not reactive. They are comfortable listening to different points of view and refrain from forcing their opinion on others.

Awareness.”Real men” have the ability to focus beyond themselves. They are acutely aware that the world doesn’t revolve around their want’s and needs. They are conscious of and attentive to the needs of others.

Language. “Real men” know that listening is more important than talking. Their words are respectful and they don’t need to raise their voice or use profanity to FORCE their point across.

Masculine. “Real men” are comfortable in their masculinity and never see a need to apologize for standing firm in their values or beliefs. “Real men” step up and take leadership roles in their family and community. “Real men” don’t “go along to get along”.

Energy. “Real men” make health a top priority. They maintain a high level of discipline and take pride in their vitality. Regardless of age, their energy inspires others.

Nurturing. “Real men” support and encourage personal and relationship growth. They celebrate their partners wins and are empathetic when things don’t turn out as planned. “Real men” genuinely care about and are considerate of their partners needs and desires.

As we concluded the seminar one of our male students summed it up best when he said…”I feel like I now have permission to bring my authentic self into my relationship”. That’s a pretty cool realization!

As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.


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