Let’s face it, unless we are completely checked out, our lives are in a state of constant transformation. Transformation is defined as a marked change in appearance or character, usually for the better. Simply put, transformation begins at birth and continues until death. The most common areas in which people experience the greatest transformation include health, finances, career and relationships. Beliefs, rules, values, circle of influence and lifestyle can all be contributing factors in our transformation process. Many of us continue to repeat behavioral patterns that leave us feeling frustrated and stuck. Being in emotional or physical pain is usually an indication that it is time for a significant course correction. Some of our more painful behavioral patterns involve food, work and relationships. When we don’t like how we feel, who we have become, or where we are going, we are ready to enter the “transformation zone”.
Once we have stepped into the “transformation zone” we must be willing to embrace and take ownership of the 3 C’s…
Choices. The overall quality of our lives is a direct result of the choices we make. It is important to make choices that are congruent with our values and beliefs. We must be willing to take personal responsibility for all of our choices. Knowing that we are solely responsible for the outcome of our choices should be a great incentive to take the time to think things through. Most of use are where we are today due to the choices we have made. This is a very profound awareness. Fulfilling life=good choices. Frustrating life=poor choices.
Change. The one certainty in life is that things will change. Health, career, finances and relationships will all change form. When our career, health or relationship no longer serves our greater good we must be willing to make a change. I was recently retained by a client who was 50 pounds overweight, hated her job and was fearful that her husband of 25 years would have an affair due to her lack of self esteem. During our initial conversation it became clear that she feared change, yet everything around her was changing due to the “poor choices” she was continuing to make. Once she was able to recognize the compounding effect her choices were having on her overall quality of life, we were able to create a turn around strategy designed to take her out of her comfort zone, allowing her to face and embrace the areas in her life where change was needed. As of this writing, she has lost 30 lbs, found a more rewarding job and has re-kindled the spark in her marriage. Better choices=rewarding life!
Challenges. We must accept that challenges are necessary for our growth. Facing our challenges and then challenging ourselves to find solutions that will enable us to rise above them are critical actions in the personal transformation process. The above mentioned client was initially resistant to change. She was an emotional eater who justified her work choice by telling herself that she was the only person who could effectively do the job she hated. She then manufactured a story of her husband’s potential infidelity that was based entirely on her own insecurity and self loathing. Once she accepted the challenge to release her weight, find a more rewarding career and initiate more intimacy with her husband she effectively put the wheels in motion for a life changing personal transformation.
Whenever we find ourselves feeling uncomfortable, it means that it is time for us to stretch and grow. Change is made possible by challenging ourselves to make better choices.
As always, I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.