Learning to Manage Our “Destructive” Emotions…John Page Burton

“This too shall pass” is one of the most powerful beliefs that a person can maintain. When we adopt and speak this truth, we are communicating from a place of undeniable faith. Whether we choose to view our life experiences as good or bad, we are mindfully acknowledging that they are needed for our growth. Ultimately, how we choose to interpret our life experiences will determine our emotional relationship with the world around us.  It is relatively easy to exhibit confidence when things are “going our way” and much more difficult when we are confronted with challenges and adversity. Learning to manage our “destructive emotions” is critical to attracting success, happiness and abundance. Let’s take a look at what I consider to be our 5 most “destructive emotions” and how we can effectively manage them and begin living a happier, more rewarding life.

*Frustration. When we function from a place of frustration we are effectively blocking our creativity and intuition, limiting our ability to solve problems. Frustration is a bi-product of fear, mainly a fear of failure. Frustrated people are prone to making excuses, blaming others and personalizing every adverse experience. Our breakthrough will occur when we learn to release our attachment to the outcome. In other words, we must set our intentions and then focus exclusively on the process that will lead us to our desired end result.

*Anger. Anger is a control based emotion. For many of us, anger is triggered when we feel that we have lost control over our intimate relationships, our family, our work environment, our health or even recreational activities such as sports. Another trigger for our anger is our need to be heard and to be right. Often, we become angry when people disagree with or oppose our beliefs. For others, anger can be triggered when we perceive a loss, betrayal or violation of our subconscious rules. Our breakthrough will occur when we learn to minimize our expectations and become more flexible in our approach to life. We must learn to become more respectful and tolerant of other people and their differing points of view.

*Inferiority. This emotion is characterized by a low sense of self worth. When a person struggles with feelings of inferiority, it is not uncommon for them to live in a world of “make believe” where they project a larger than life image of themselves. Living in this fantasy world allows them to deny their actual feelings of inadequacy. Their constant fear of rejection is complimented by their long standing belief that they will never be good enough, smart enough, educated enough, affluent enough, attractive enough, or a multitude of other “not enough” feelings. They fear “looking stupid”, saying “something dumb” or doing “something wrong”. Our breakthrough will occur when we learn to accept ourselves for who we are and make the conscious decision to live in the present moment.

*Envy. This emotion is rooted in a profound sense of insecurity. Envy is a perception based emotion.  A person who is grounded in envy will never be satisfied and nothing will ever be good enough for them. Envy is a very competitive emotion. Envious people can be very manipulative and are more than capable of flying into fits of anger and rage toward those they perceive to have what they desire. Envious people can be very disingenuous, often saying one thing to someone’s face while saying something entirely different behind their back. Our breakthrough will occur when we realize that there is more than enough for everyone and that it is our job to focus on running our own unique race.

*Guilt. Guilt is a very crafty, fear based emotion. Guilt can be used to manipulate another person or it can be used to draw attention to ourselves. We may verbalize our “guilt tactics” or we may use the “silent treatment” to get our point across. Guilt can be used to validate our long standing “victim stories” or allow us to justify “being right” about our current circumstances. Guilt is often used to deflect responsibility for our actions. Our breakthrough will occur when we make the conscious decision to take full responsibility for our lives, circumstances and actions. We now recognize that playing the “victim role” no longer serves us.

Which of these emotions are you carrying around with you? How are these destructive emotions serving you? What would your life be like if you replaced them with empowering emotions?

I look forward to your thoughts and feedback.

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