STUCK is defined as being caught or held in a pattern or situation that doesn’t allow you to move. It is also defined as being unable to solve a problem and continue working.
All of us have felt stuck at one time or another. Some of the more common areas in which we feel stuck include our careers, diet, fitness, relationships and finances. It is not uncommon to get ourselves unstuck in one area only to find that we are seemingly stuck in another one. In order to get unstuck we must first identify and then re-frame the challenge we are focusing on. Recently, I worked with a client who complained of feeling stuck in their career and in their relationship. This person shared with me that they routinely felt overwhelmed, exhausted and angry “for allowing themselves to get into this position in the first place”. I pondered our conversation and began examining the word S.T.U.C.K. Here is what I concluded…
S=Solution. When we feel stuck we are dwelling on the problem. We are operating from a place of scarcity which in turn is preventing us from seeing a bigger picture. THERE IS A SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM and it is our job to focus our energy on finding that solution. When we are dwelling on the problem we are like a tiny rowboat in a giant whirlpool…we just keep going in circles.
T=Trust. We must trust our ability to find a solution. We must have faith that the outcome will be far greater than the temporary setback that is “bogging us down in the quicksand of our mind”. For example, losing 50 lbs begins by cutting our caloric intake and engaging in a consistent exercise routine. We must trust that over a sustained period of time we will release the unwanted 50lbs and restore our health. Trusting ourselves and our own judgment can be difficult at first but with each small victory we are building muscles of belief.
U=Understanding. In order to create lasting change and get unstuck we must first understand what is driving our thoughts. What disempowering thoughts keep creeping in? What are we focusing on that is creating our fear? Are these thoughts real or make believe? By asking ourselves these questions we can better understand how our thoughts can be keeping us in a holding pattern. Once we change our thoughts the wheels of positive change begin to propel us out of our mental muck.
C=Commitment. We must be willing to DO THE WORK. When we are fully engaged in the process of change we are creating the right climate for a breakthrough. For some, remaining stuck is a badge of honor that is pinned proudly to their chest. For them, it is simply easier to remain stuck than to face the challenges associated with growth. If we desire to get unstuck and live the fulfilling life awaiting us, it is imperative that we get uncomfortable and DO THE WORK.
K=Kindness. Let’s face it, feeling stuck sucks! Beating ourselves up only makes the feeling worse. Being unkind to ourselves actually prolongs our feeling of hopelessness. Most of us have developed some rigid rules regarding how we believe our lives should look. Let’s face it…tough times happen to good people and it isn’t always our fault. When we find ourselves in challenging situations it is important to remember to show ourselves some grace. We have all heard the phrase “this too shall pass” and it will. I know that when I look back on the “storms of my life” each of them delivered the lessons that I needed to learn at that point in time. The storms indeed passed, I’m still standing and I am wiser as a result.
I encourage you to print out this message and refer back to it the next time you are feeling stuck. As always, I welcome your thoughts and feedback.